C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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