I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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