i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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