It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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