i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
