Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
