i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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