My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
