Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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