Just fell off a train. Bad.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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