whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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