I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
