I will die if light touches me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
