Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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