I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
