i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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