i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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