I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
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