I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
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