I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize