Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize