Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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