Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
