I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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