I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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