Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
