She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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