So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
