But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
