I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
