I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
