saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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