pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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