I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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