Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
