I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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