So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
