that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
