I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
