Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
