Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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