we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
