my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just found puke in my bra..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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