It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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