My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
