I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize