Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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