You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
