We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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