i would punch a child for taco bell
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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