is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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