I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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