The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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