If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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