Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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