i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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