I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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