I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
