we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
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