Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
