I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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